Excuses, excuses

Tied to the whole video conference thing, I went to Office Max yesterday to pick up a webcam and a headset so I don't have to borrow Shirley's whenever my "new boss" wants to check in with me. The headset was $23 and the webcam $25. A young girl, probably in high school, was running the register and after scanning the headset her cash register prompted her to ask me if I would like to buy the extended warranty for $3. Really? Next thing you know there will be an extended warranty on a bag of ice in case you have a power outage and lose your frozen water.

I politely said, "No, thank you" to which she responded, "Are you sure, it's only, like, three dollars". At this point in my mind I'm trying to calculate the insurance cost to value ratio to compare it to other things to determine exactly how ridiculous it is to pay any amount of money to insure a $23 headset, which by the way, I've already proven to be nearly indestructible.

In my effort to quickly get out of this debate with a 16 year old over the value of three dollars, I piped up, "I'm leaving the country in a couple months and won't be here to cash in on the warranty." She was, like, "Wow!" It was just a matter of time before I broke the seal on this excuse and I'm sure it will be used many more times before I leave. I'm looking forward to getting the follow on question of, "So where are you going?" and making up answers depending on who is asking me to see what is the most ridiculous destination I can pass off with a straight face.

There was a TV show in the 80s called Perfect Stangers in which Bronson Pinchot played Balki Bartokomous, a character that came from a fictional island of Mypos. A kid, Dave, in my high school French class convinced our teacher, Madame Botossani, that his family was from Mypos. My goal is to see how many people I can convince I'm moving to Mypos. What will be truly epic is if I can get them to ask me questions about what it's like in Mypos. Botossani grew up in Europe and even she fell for the Mypos thing!

So back to the extended warranty, the cashier said it covers any damage. I heard a story once (urban legend?) about a couple guys who were on vacation and took the full insurance coverage at the rental car counter and proceeded to have a demolition derby with the two cars and then, I don't know, call AAA to tow them back to Hertz. I could conceivably do that with the headset, just pound it with a sledgehammer and bring it back, saying "I sat on it." Just for entertainment value.

Speaking of which, after the whole interraction with the cashier over the headset, she then scans the webcam and asks, "Does that mean you don't want the warranty for this either?"

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