Chinese slang

I mp3'd Shirley's Pimsleur Mandarin CD's so I can continue my language study in the car during my commute and finally feel like I am making headway. Then she pulls this book off the shelf: Easy Way to Learn Chinese Slang.

I was all proud of myself because I can now say, "Sorry, but I am a stupid American and my Chinese sucks!" Though, considering how poor my intonation is, I am probably saying, "I have a small snake, but I like your daughter", which is likely to get me in some trouble.

So I started thumbing through the book and it is not exactly what I would call "slang" but perhaps more like proverbs. For example:

EACH ONE SWEEPS THE SNOW FROM HIS OWN DOORSTEPS AND DOES NOT BOTHER ABOUT THE FROST ON HIS NEIGHBOR'S ROOF

The story behind this one is a grocery store owner sweeping the snow in front of his store came close to his neighbor's porch and noticed a basket. Upon inspection, he found a corpse in the basket. He was startled and ran back to his store and left the broom and his footprints behind so the police arrested him as the murderer. His wife knew he could not be the murderer and appealed for a reinvestigation, upon which it was determined the the neighbor's brother was having an affair with the corpse's wife so the brother and the wife conspired to murder the husband and attempted to frame the brother/neighbor.

So the lesson is, mind your own business or you might get thrown in jail as a bystander in an attempted murder framing. Not sure how I'm going to work that one into a conversation. Actually, with all those words and me screwing up the intonation, I might inadvertently confess to a crime in the attempt of using this quip.

I like American slang better. Last week a Dutch co-worker of mine was asking me how to describe "glasses that you wear while skiing" and I said "ski goggles". But more importantly, I explained the meaning of the term "beer goggles". Now that's slang! And much more useful than "ski goggles".

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