New 'hood

So after spending what seemed like forever living at the Pullman Hotel service apartment I am glad to finally have moved into our apartment. The drawbacks of the Pullman:

• The parking garage just doesn't f*&^ing work. There are 2 parking lots. There is a ticket with a barcode. There is a scanner machine at each lot entrance. It should be simple but the whole thing just doesn't work and it hasn't worked for 12 years that I know of.
• It is good that there is a kitchen but they only empty the trash once per week and it gets stinky after 3 or 4 days.
• The detachable shower head hose is a bit twisted and the holder doesn't have enough resistance to point the shower head straight and always have to prop up the hose in some way to get the shower to point toward me and not toward the shower curtain.
• Hotel guests that use the spa seem to not understand the "locker room" concept so they wear the bathrobe and slippers from their room and go walk around the hotel lobby and other common areas in a robe and slippers. I'm not quite sure why this bothers me as hotels in Taiwan often have a Japanese robe set and one of my colleagues wore it out to the bar one night. I think I would be OK with wearing a robe to a bar because that's kinda reckless but wearing it in a lobby is just stupid.
• The TV always resets itself to channel 2 and the volume level on 7 every time you shut it off.

I checked out of the Pullman and moved into the apartment on the same day that our sea container was arriving. The movers and the container delivery truck showed up at 9AM and the mission for the day was to establish a bed to sleep in, find a towel to shower with, and preferably some soap product. The movers would unpack and assemble all of the big stuff, so, beds, tables etc. That left me with about 87 boxes of cups, forks, key chains, paperclips, Matchbox cars, etc. The most ridiculous semi-facts about the stuff we moved that I would never have realized to be true:

Balancing Siphon Brewer

• We have ~40 coffee/tea mugs (not including tea cups matching Shirley's tea pot collection
• We have ~50 jars of spices. This might be great but I think there are actually only 20 varieties of spice. Somehow we ended up with 8 jars of nutmeg.
• We have ~10 devices for brewing coffee including several French presses, a Vietnamese drip pot thingy, an espresso machine, and a balancing siphon brewer. Nonetheless, we don't need 40 coffee mugs but maybe there is correlation here.
• We have many, many more electrical cables than devices that need to be plugged in. This is actually much better than the other way around.

On day one I technically met the goal of bed, towel, and soap if you count a golf towel as a valid towel. The next day I made an Ikea run to get a few towels. The past week I have spent nearly every hour other than work and sleep unpacking all this stuff and if it were not for the fact that the movers re-assembled the wardrobe closet upside down, I think I would already have everything put away. But the progress has been good and I have access now to most of the daily comforts and can cook at home. We left our old sofas behind in Taiwan and I will get a new one delivered this weekend so for now the living room has one folding chair and a TV but at least it has a folding chair.

New apartment

The apartment is fairly close to the center of Eindhoven on the southwest side of town which is close to the direction of my company. Today the ride home from work, during rush hour, was 16 minutes. I haven't had such a commute in over 20 years at which time I was working at a grocery store while in University. The apartment is a 1930s row house, very Dutch style. 

I'll post some more details about the apartment after I manage to get the 40 empty boxes removed so I can actually photograph something other than boxes. It has a nice small garden for BBQs and a terrace balcony off one of the bedrooms, maybe for another BBQ. Americans love BBQ.

New country, new blog?

I haven't blogged in quite a long time because after the novelty of a new place wears off its hard to come up with interesting things to write about and I start to sound like a broken record. But things may get interesting again as I have taken a position in my company that requires me to move to Eindhoven, in the Netherlands, close to where my company is head-quartered. I have spent quite a bit of time here on business over the past 12 years but actually LIVING somewhere adds a totally new dynamic.

I went on holiday to Spain with my family for the first 2 weeks of July and afterwards I moved to the Netherlands and started on the new job. Complicating matters is my wife is in the middle of a 2 year work contract and will stay in Taiwan until June '16 to finish. We did a similar thing when moving to Taiwan but the time frame was much shorter. Let's just say the work move for me was not exactly planned, certainly not in this time frame but I am replacing someone who left the company and the vacancy must be filled ASAP.There was actually a 1.5 month gap between my predecessor leaving and me arriving and that made it much more difficult form me to get oriented in the job.

Desired Car

So where is Eindhoven? It's in the south of the Netherlands close to the Belgium border, about a 1.5 hour drive from Amsterdam. I am living in a service apartment but have found a permanent home and will move on August 11. I found this sweet ride parked in the back of the apartment and was hoping I could get something like this. It even comes with a surfboard and bike, well tricycle. Although I ended up with a VW Golf, it doesn't quite have the same character as its black primered cousin.

Actual Car

Fortunately our new home fills the character gap as it is a traditional Dutch 1930s brick row house with some tile walls, plank flooring, heavy wood doors (some on wheels), a terrace outside the bedroom, a small garden area, and ivy growing up the outside walls. I'll post some photos and more info after I move.

The new job is quite hectic. Because the previous guy was long gone there was really no handshake or intro and on day one I was just thrown in the thick of things, running part of a factory over here introducing a key new technology for semiconductor production. I am supposed to have four team leaders supporting me but two of those positions are vacant and one of my team leads is on holiday now. So that leaves two of us doing the work of five while most Dutch are heading to France, Spain and Greece.

European glossary term #1: holiday: n. what Americans refer to as "vacation"

Indonesia SCUBA diving trip: part II, Arrive at Raja Laut

Dead chickens are at the top of the stairs

We landed in Manado,around 11:30 PM. At 1.6 degrees north, I think this is the closest I've been to the equator other than flying over it. We grabbed a ride from one of the touts ready to pounce on us as we left baggage claim and spent 20 minutes getting to the Hotel Celebes which was right across the street from the boat yard. At $28 a night, it was cheap and very conveniently located, though not conveniently stocked with anything like bottled water or toilet paper. The front desk clerk seemed surprised that I was only staying for one night but, in fact, I was only staying for 6 hours and anything more might have been too long at any price.

Putting the motor back together

We checked out at 6:30 AM and someone responsible for our boat transfer from Manado to Bunaken was supposed to meet us in the lobby of the hotel. There was a guy smoking across the street who eventually walked into the lobby and introduced himself as the "boat captain". Keep in mind, any term implying rank or prestige will be used very loosely here and I doubt this guy had any credentials to operate a boat. Of course, the guy doesn't really look like a captain and of course, we would have to walk past a lady hovering over two dead chickens on the side of the road at the boat yard. And, of course, getting the boat motor started would involve taking the cover of and spraying choke cleaner into the carb and pulling the starter 50 times to actually get it to start. We probably only had a 10 mile journey but I was not prepared to row. Oh yeah, this is the private charter service to get across. We would later find out on the public ferry they just fill it with people until you can't fit any more and then set sail,
sometimes having people fall off and drown mid way. But this is all "part of the experience"; the last thing I wanted was a boat on which I had to wear a life vest and pass some sort of safety briefing. That wouldn't be very exciting.

Arriving at Raja Laut

It was a 30 minute ride to Bunaken to a resort called "Raja Laut" (King of the Sea), run by an Italian guy, Roberto, who was very helpful with setting up the booking and answering all questions. The entire resort was 4 rooms in a bungalow style with 2 guests per room. All meals are included because, well, there is nowhere else to eat.

This is the first time I ever stayed at an "Eco Resort" which I've translated to mean "No AC and plenty of bugs". We've been to Africa so we are used to sleeping under mosquito nets and if we could survive living out of a tent on Kilimanjaro for a week this would be a relative luxury. Actually I found it to be a nice balance where you  don't have all the creature comforts of home nor need a team of 30 porters to ensure we didn't freeze or thirst to death (Kilimanjaro). Shortly after arriving, Roberto, the owner gave us some crepes for breakfast and started loading our dive gear onto the boat to catch the morning dives.

Indonesia SCUBA diving trip: part I

It only took  us four years to realize that our joint sport/hobby of preference, skiing, was not doable from Taiwan and we should look for a new time/money sinkhole. We now travel to many tropical places that have great SCUBA diving but have not been certified, we always leave the area saying, "We should get SCUBA certified and come back."

We finally took a diving class in Kenting in April to receive an "Open Water" certification and soon after took an "Advanced" level course which will allow the privilege to dive deeper. After receiving certification credentials and a nifty logbook, we were looking for a location for our first "dive vacation" to, well, fill the logbook. We originally were focused on the Philippines since it is close to Taiwan but geographic close and practical close are two different things. After realizing it would take us a day to get to water and the weather there is less than desirable in August, we broadened the search and settled on Bunaken Island, Indonesia, hoping for predictable weather, gentle currents, and spectacular coral reefs.

We left Taipei in the morning with a planned stop in Jakarta to catch a domestic flight to Manado, a fairly large city in North Sulawesi. We would spend the night at a hotel near the boat yard in Manado to catch an early ride to Bunaken just in time for breakfast and to board the first dive boat out that day. I had never really been to Indonesia, only to Bali, and the Balinese don't consider Bali to be part of Indonesia, despite what the map might say. I was prepared for the idea that Bunaken would not be Bali; there are no big resorts, just a small island focused on diving. I was planning on a moderate amount of electricity and hot water and wi-fi would be an unexpected bonus.

We had a four hour layover in Jakarta which I tried to avoid because Jakarta is not the most comfortable or entertaining airport to be stuck in for four hours. You can get a foot massage and eat noodles, that's about it. Air conditioning is minimal so there will also be some sweating going on. The flight out of Taipei left almost an hour late do to an "operational incident", the details of which I do not want to know. Upon boarding the plane they gave us a "fast lane" pass to get through Indonesian immigration faster. I tried not to build up false hope because I am at least savvy enough to know Indonesia is not known for speed. With that said, we only had to wait in the immigration line for about 3 minutes while the agent starting her shift shuffled papers, re-positioned her stapler, checked her Farmville, and filed her nails before actually starting to process some visitors. That would lead to a 45 minute wait for our luggage even though it was "priority" tagged. I can just imagine how long it takes to get the "expendable" luggage.

Now we had to get our luggage and switch to the domestic terminal to get the Lion Air flight to Manado. Lion Air is a local discount airline that happens to have some great post-plane crash photos available on Google. We were bringing dive equipment so had quite a load to drag over to the next terminal. As soon as you step out of the door towards the curb you are mobbed by touts trying to offer you a ride to somewhere or grab the bags out of your hands to drag them to somewhere and then charge you a couple bucks. Instead of just buying my way out of these situations my natural reaction is to resist and amble over to the free shuttle like the locals. Of course this is a lengthy process and the free shuttle is overcrowded hence, there is a market for taxi rides in between terminals. Perhaps, the shuttle driver is the market maker for the taxi industry.

By the time we got to the Lion Air check-in counter we only had about an hour left before our flight and were pleasantly surprised to find no line at the counter, quite contrary to our experience with local airlines in Thailand. We knew we would be over the weight limit but were happy to pay about $1.50/kg to check all of our dive gear. This process involves going to the check-in counter to get weighed, then bringing an invoice over to the luggage cashier to pay and get stamped, then back to the check-in counter to get ticketed.  You then pass through a "toll booth" where you pay a few bucks to be able to get to the security gate, some sort of island departure tax. At the security check I would come to realize that I was ticketed as "Johan" on the boarding pass and I would not be allowed to simply pretend to be Johan and get on that plane. Luckily the guard was quite responsive and ushered me back down through the toll booth to the counter to get re-ticketed under the right name, which of course required escalating the issue to a manager. Now it is about 20 minutes before departure and the guard escorts me back through the toll booth explaining to the attendant that I do not need to pay again and we go through the security check.

At the x-ray machine, yet another agent checks all my credentials and realizes that on the toll booth receipt, I am still named "Johan". At this point the time constraint must have made my frustration more convincing because after I pleaded "go ask the skinny guy (the guard who helped me out who is probably only slightly skinnier than the average Indonesian) I was simply waved through. Of course, our panicked rush was without merit as we would arrive at the gate 10 minutes before departure and just sit there for an hour waiting to board the flight with no indication of an actual delay. On the monitor they never even indicate a delay, they just erase the entire existence of the flight as the departure time passes as if it never existed. And they board many flights through the same door so you have no idea which flight is which or if you missed your flight and will be sleeping at the airport for a day. Such is my experience in Jakarta. All. The. Time.

Eventually we boarded the flight but were not seated next to each other due to my boarding pass debacle. I hope Shirley enjoys Johan's company.

Kilimanjaro Day One: and then there were four

December 27, 2012, after day 1 hike

Stuck truck at Machame gate

 Day 1 didn't quite go as planned. The end result was achieved although Africa doesn't seem to be very "solution driven". The lost luggage was still lost at 11AM when we finally agreed to a plan: the four of us with luggage would go to the Machame gate and start the climb with the assistant guide. Elias would go to the airport with John and Cindy to get the one piece of luggage that might have made it there. The whereabouts of the other two bags is still unknown. Depending on which bag it was, they would attempt to secure some facsimile of the missing contents at an outfitter in Moshi. Then...?

It's now 8PM, we are in Machame Camp, just under 10k ft and they have yet to show up. Our 9AM start was severely delayed. We thought getting out of the hotel would be the toughest part, then we were met at the gate by a long line of traffic. One truck on the inside of the gate couldn't be started and they wedged a rock under the rear wheels to prevent it from rolling backwards. It was in the way and blocking an entire line of traffic running down the access road that leads to Machame gate. Had they been solution driven, they could have simply removed the rock, kept a foot on the brake, and allowed gravity to take charge, easily guiding the truck out of the way of inbound trucks and everybody could have been happy. Instead they played with the engine for an hour to finally get it to start and get out of the way for others to come in.

Waiting out the rain at the gate

In the mean time our crew set up lunch in the pavilion at the entrance while we waiting for some paperwork to get done. Meanwhile it was pouring rain, no surprise. As the rain burst from skies at the gate, locals selling backpack covers came out of nowhere. The cover was just a sheet of plastic with an elastic band around the outside so you have throw it over your pack to keep it dry. I didn't have a cover for my daypack but thought it would fit under my rain jacket. Still, I thought it might be nice to have but was shocked that the going price was $20. That's USD! I thought the asking price would be five bucks and you could haggle down to one or two. I decided to roll the dice with the rain jacket idea.

Nice day in the rain forest

We were at this pavilion seemingly for hours before we finally set foot onto the trail, still without Elias, John and Cindy. The climb was pretty tough because it was mostly stairs through the rainforest and could be treacherous to hike after dark. There is a climb up to Cixing in Taipei that it almost all stairs, steep stairs. This was not as bad and it was cool to meet some other travellers on the trail. This is high season so there is a constant crowd heading up the trail. There seemed to be an awful lot of students. What happened to the notion of "poor starving college student"? Africa is not cheap.

End of Day 1

We made it to the end of today's hike right around dark. Steven and Chris came upon a Russian guy at the top who, upon reaching today's apex, flopped onto his back in the grass like a snow angel. They dubbed him "heavy machinery" because he was quite large, maybe 230 pounds, maybe more. The mass of people climbing Kilimanjaro was probably the most fit demographic in a group that size that I have ever been part of. Perhaps, even more fit than casual triathletes. We were already speculating on how far "heavy machinery" would hike before he gave up.

Arrival of the dark lord

Warm and dry

We walked into camp and were looking for people from our crew. We were totally unsure of how many porters it would take to manage this climb and it turned out there were an army of them. Since we got off to a late start our camp was not ready when we arrived but very shortly after, tents were set up and coffee and popcorn were ready. We were wondering if John and Cindy would ever show up. It would suck to have to bail out on the entire trip due to some missing balaclavas. The whole luggage debacle turned out to be a blessing in disguise as there was heavy rain up until our delayed departure and then it eased up a bit. Shirley had rented this pancho and she looked like some evil villain from a sci-fi fantasy movie coming up the trail with hooded cloak and staff in hand. We got a bit wet but once inside the tent we were able to ditch our wet clothes and change into something comfortable. Comfortable and dry are synonymous at this point. Now waiting on dinner...

The Last Shower

December 27, 2012: Day One

We met up with out climbing group at the Arusha Protea Lodge, a hotel about 30 minutes drive from the Machame gate, where the climb will begin. There is a total of 6 climbers plus the crew, no idea what the crew:climber ratio is but I expect it to be embarrassingly high. We hit the jackpot, people-wise,  especially considering that an Amy Winehouse wannabe and her entourage are at the hotel and they are leaving on the same day. So we quite possibly could have drawn that straw.

Steven, the Scottish guy, made and interesting observation that each of us in our climbing group lives outside of their respective home country. Steven works in the ore mines of western Australia. John & Cindy are a couple that teach in Dubai, John a Kiwi and Cindy a Canadian. They came along with their friend Chris who is also a teacher from England. Our guide, Elias, took a survey of our equipment and Steven was severely under equipped, by our standards. Whereas we all had daypacks plus a 15kg rucksack filled with multiple baselayers, socks, hats, sweaters and rainproof gear, Steven was able to fit everything he had in one small backpack. He didn't even have gloves but assured us, if it really get's that cold he can just stick his hands in his pockets! The guide seemed quite uncomfortable with Steven's preparedness but I don't think he has much to be concerned about. He can probably summit in a kilt, commando style.

We were supposed to leave the hotel @ 9:30AM to head for the car to the gate but it is already after 10. I think Elias is probably stil scraping together some gear and had to collect John & Cindy's lost luggage. They were on an Ethiopian Air flight and there gear didn't make it through the layover. Elias is going to stop at the airport to pick it up. They are really anxious about the luggage because they bought all kinds of new gear especially for this trip. Shirley and I just brought our normal ski clothes and will rent sleeping bags and mattresses from the tour company. Since we have to lug all of our stuff to Zanzibar afterwards we wanted to travel relatively lightly.

The water pressure at the hotel is amazingly high, which is great, because this will be our last shower for seven days, need to make it count! I think the toothbrush is most important hygiene product we will be taking up the mountain.

Two days on safari

December 25, 2012

Saw a Cheetah close to the end of the day in Ngorongoro

Safari day 2 almost felt like cheating; it was like fishing in a barrel. I don't understand how Ngorongoro Crater attracts animals in, and then keeps them in, but apparently it does. There is a somewhat isolated ecosystem inside this crater that creates and environment for abundant animal spotting, even with quite a few tour groups in there, hundreds of tour jeeps, but there is a surprising amount of sprawling real estate to spread out into. It was still difficult to find the more elusive animals so it still had a bit of sporting sense to it. We only planned two days of safari on the advice of a friend and it was good advice. I'm not sure we could take another day of animal spotting as it became quite repetitive.

Christmas dinner was turkey and ham and an amazing stuffing which I think was loaded with...more ham. All the food at the lodge was tasted and only once included rice which was a welcomed change of pace from life in Taiwan where every lunch meal at work includes a scoop of rice.

After breakfast we started the trip down to Arusha to transfer to our climbing guide. The Mt. Meru lodge again served as the rendez-vous point. On the first day the tour operator who gave us the overall rundown mentioned that there was a guy from Scotland who would be on the climb with us. Shirley started to get nervous thinking that he would be some super mountain climber born in the Highlands who's veins flow single malt. We met him at the rendez-vous. She might be right.

Masai villages dot the savannah 

On the ride from Arusha out to the safari and back we travel through countryside inhabited by the Masai, the men recognised as being covered in a red cloth carrying a stick, typically herding cattle. They live in round huts with a thatched roof. I wanted to take more pictures but Shirley brought up this idea about cameras stealing their souls. I thought that was the Zulu but I didn't have internet access available to be able to debunk her theory so I just tried to be discreet. I wonder if anyone ever really believed that or if it is just myth.

I bless the rains down in Africa

December 24, 2012

We were picked up at the airport in a Toyota Land Cruiser by our guide, Rizuan, who would be handling the safari portion of this adventure. We made a pit stop for lunch at the Mt. Meru Lodge in Arusha where a representative from the tour company gave us the rundown of the trip. Soon after, Rizuan picked us up to head up to the lodge in between the two game drive locations, Lake Manyara and Ngorongoro Crater.

It rained unbelievably hard all night long. I think the rain coupled with 21 hours of drinking nothing but diuretic (coffe + alcohol) caused me to wake up to pee at least 3 times. Nonetheless I slept quite soundly. I thought breakfast would just be a continental spread, which is how it started but then they came by to take orders for eggs, bacon and sausage. Coffee here is great, I'm looking forward to bringing some home. We rode through some of the coffee plantations on our way to the safari lodge.

Today we went on a game drive at Lake Manyara. The morning was raining but it was light enough that we could pop up the roof on the Land Cruiser which allows you to stand up and peer out for an unobstructed view. Our first sighting was baboons and we thought it was amazing. At the end of the day we would pass the same colony of baboons and it seemed much less impressive after all of the wildlife that we would encounter. A group of female lions that we could barely spot through the grass was the highlight of the day as the leopard eluded us. Tomorrow we have another game drive at Ngorongoro and I'm curious what we will see there that we did not see today.

During our pre-dinner shower back at the lodge we could hear Christmas carollers and found them assembled in front of the lodge singing "O come all ye faithful" in Swahili. Last year we were in New Zealand for XMAS. Sometimes I miss the traditional New England XMAS I experienced as a child but it is exciting to experience in the context of other cultures. I was surprised that Tanzania is about half Christian half Muslim.

2012 Trip to Africa

December 23, 2012

Since the school calendar had a particularly long Christmas break this year we decided to take a trip to Africa as two friends of ours summitted Kilimanjaro this year and convinced us that this was not really mountain climbing but just walking up a hill (sarcastic foreshadow). The plan was to go on safari in Tanzania for a couple days, then spend 7 days climbing the Machame route of Kilimanjaro, then relax on the beaches of Zanzibar for a few days.

Firstly, no, we have never climbed a real mountain before. No, we don't like camping. But we do like skiing, and, well, climbing a mountain is almost like the same thing, right? So we were off to climb a mountain, planning a summit attempt starting on New Years Eve. Getting from Taipei to Kilimanjaro is easy, you only have to go from Taipei > Hong Kong > Bangkok > Nairobi > Kilimanjaro, which is not nearly as difficult as getting from Zanzibar to Taipei (more sarcastic foreshadow). As we boarded the flight from Hong Kong > Nairobi (with a pit stop in Bangkok), we had our first exposure to Kenyan culture. We were seated in the same row but there were 3 seats in between us and we didn't realize this when we got our boarding passes. As people were still trying to board the plane there were people running all over the place, 90% men, and somehow they seemed to all know each other. The guy sitting next to Shirley was shaking his head at the rudeness and said something like, "Welcome to Africa". It was like a big party, but I wasn't in the mood for a big party and I was assuming that even though it was Kenya Airways, there still must be a rule that you can't be running up and down the aisles yelling "Jambo" (Swahili for "Hello") as the plane is taking off. After about 30 minutes of this the plane was finally ready to go and everyone got in their seats. Before everyone had sat down there was still a seat open next to me and I got Shirley to move into that seat. I think someone was assigned to that seat but I took advantage of the fact that there seemed to be no urge for the 300 passengers to actually take their seats so I figured whomever was assigned to that seat really didn't care where they sat.

Shirley checking out a Taiwan history display in HK airport

Or it could also have been the fact that while we were waiting in Hong Kong Airport to get our boarding passes, a family of five was having a big fight with the counter agent because they were being denied access due to visa concerns. The behavior would easily have gotten them tasered in the US but but I would soon come to realize this over emotional arguing would be commonplace in Kenya. I also noticed that throughout the flight people were wandering around messing with stuff in the overhead bins, far from the seats they were sitting in. I think they just randomly scatter their baggage to have an excuse to wander the plane and socialize.

We had a total of 22 hours from door to door which isn't actually that bad and is less painful when the "back" button works on the in flight entertainment system. I, however, wasn't so lucky and I somehow got stuck into the Adele music selection with no "Back" button to save me from this horror. I would rather freeze to death on the Hillary steps of Mt. Everest than listen to Adele for 12 hours so I just shut the thing off and tried to get some sleep.

(to be continued)

These aren't the droids you're looking for

It has been quite some time since I blogged, quite some time since I've done a lot of things, but the last time I wrote I was on a business trip to the Netherlands and as I now find myself in the same predicament, what better time to attempt to rekindle the fire?




Part of my absence from the blog involves simply not having/making the time to do it, but I am in Europe on a Sunday, and guess what? Time stands still! I think you have two choices of activities: blog, or go to church. Neither particularly productive. So far, this trip is awful. I recently went to the States for Christmas, I think it was a total of 30 hours to get from Taipei to Melbourne, FL and I caught a common cold on the flight(s) over and suffered really bad jet lag throughout our trip. After 10 days we came back to Taiwan. I dozed off on the Tokyo -> Taipei leg and literally woke up with pink eye (aka "conjuntivitis"). It's like I was perfectly fine when I dozed off, and 1 hour later awoke to find my left eye totally crusted shut. I had a 3 day respite in Tapei before continuing westward to the Netherlands. It took about 24 hours in the Netherlands before I realized I had a pretty bad flu. I think I've since lost about 5 pounds and haven't slept past 5AM nor 2 consecutive hours since December 17th.



So, is there relevance to all this bitching? I'm wondering if I've quickly become accustomed to life in Taiwan and simply hate being off "the rock". Is this all psychosomatic? I grew up in a city and swore that I could never live in the country. Then after one of the neighbor kids threw a snowball at my wife and called her a "gook" we moved to some affluent suburban areas to avoid overtly racist people and only deal with passively racist people. Our home in the States is in a small town that allows no commercial development, no cell towers, and nothing is open on Sundays. Idyllic, right? I now find myself in the Netherlands cursing the fact that everything is closed except this one coffeeshop, I mean, place that sells coffee, that doesn't even have wi-fi. The malls are closed, boutiques are closed, I can't get cold medicine or a pair of gloves. I can get a joint though, but that's at the other kind of coffeeshop. Not sure if that's the kind of medicine I need for the flu, might help me put some weight back on, though.



I wonder how I could quickly make the switch from small town life in rural Connecticut to life in Taipei, where there are people on top of people, fruit stands that NEVER close, people riding bicycles in typhoons, and nary a coffeeshop or "place that sells coffee" without a free open wi-fi signal. Now I can't imagine NOT living in a metropolis. Am I flexible in adapting or just need to feel a sense of belonging to whatever environment in which I am immersed? Are those exclusive?



Work has been awful this past week. Not much cooperation. I'm supposed to be able to navigate these waters but I've run out of Jedi mind tricks and logic doesn't work against patriotism. I feel like the tail trying to wag the dog. I've been training my Taiwanese staff in some "business English" idioms and remember discussing "Ace up my sleeve". I don't have an Ace up my sleeve. I’m really questioning the European economy. Nothing is closed on Sunday in Taipei. Products are made, services rendered, money changes hands. I enrolled in an MBA program for one semester and thought it was garbage (sorry MBA people). Part of my motivation in taking this job was to learn things about globalization that could only be gathered by being immersed in that environment. A good (non-Western) friend of mine from the States started preaching some Western-economics doom and gloom type stuff about a year ago, citing things he learned in his MBA program. After 8 months in Taiwan and now coming back to work in Europe such predictions are starting to make sense to me. Western economies are crumbling (most recently Spain) and China is swooping in to buy up the debt. OK, maybe some MBA programs aren't THAT bad.



People in Taiwan are upset that the unemployment rate is above 5%. 5%! I had lunch with a Syrian-born guy Friday who asked, "What is America going to export in 10 years?" Internet content? Created in America but coded in India? The Google Tablet is allegedly being developed in a building a block from our apartment in Taipei. Silicon Valley may be calling the shots but where is the real economic impact? I don't mean to sound all anti-American. I realize that the freedom and quality of life there has opened up a world of opportunity to allow me to see things from a different perspective. I worry about how many others will have the same opportunity in the future.



I am scheduled to be in Europe another week but that may be useless if I don't make any progress tomorrow and I may get thrown out of the building if I say what I really think, but at least I can get out of here and back to Taiwan.

One rule in life

I went back to Antonio's for dinner tonight as I am still in Europe on business and this is the only place in town worth eating at. Because it is the only place in town worth eating at, it is notoriously tough to get a seat. My ex-boss's boss is beyond a regular there and one time a group of us had to douche out and drop his name just to get a table. I sat at the bar alone tonight and everyone recognized me from last time. Alle had a boatload more questions about Taiwan and was thoroughly empressed when I busted out some currency at his enquiry and was able to answer, "That's Sun Yat Sen" when he asked about "the guy on the hundred". To answer to his surprise, I said, "Hey, if I claim I am from Taiwan and can't tell you anything about the money, you'd think I was totally full of shit!"

As a rule, I try to not be full of shit, but I really only have one steadfast rule in life. If there's one thing that the whole Taiwan experience has taught me, it is that rules can be too restrictive. If I really follow "the rules" I would have never made the leap to come to Taiwan. Having one rule is OK. The good thing about having one rule, is you have no excuse to forget or break it. Let it define you. Own it. Live it.

The cashier girl at Antonio's sits at the bar and struck up a conversation with me and we talked throughout the night. She was wearing a shirt that said "Doing 9 months inside" and had a baby in a prison uniform on it. The shirt was covering her bulbous belly of 21 weeks pregnacy with here son "Santiago" kicking from the inside. But my rule, my only rule, is I never ask a woman if she is pregnant. If an old friend shows up stashing a beach ball under her shirt, I will lock eyes with rigidity so as to not even glance at the belly until she reveals that she is pregnant. No way, no how.

Last time I got the Bolognese, this time the clams & mussels. If you can't figure out a rule for yourself, here's a good one: "If even in doubt, get the bolognese." It's the true measure of weather or not an Italian place can make sauce. Anyone with a supply of decent tomatoes can make fra diavolo, but bolognese is an art form. It was a good night chatting with Alle and Nicole. Antonio's is packed every night and come 8:00, they are turning away people left and right. Friends and I have a joke about getting "Nine-thirtied". If you are trying to get a reservation and they really don't want you there, they'll offer a reservation at 9:30. At Antonio's they just say "Nee" ("no") and you are shit out of luck. They offered me a grappa on the house before leaving and as I left, Alle said to stop back in before my flight on Saturday, at least for a coffee if I can't make dinner. I left with a sense of accomplishment. Nicole said that she remembers everybody, some people get tables, some get 9:30'd and some get sent to the Doner stand down the street. I left with a sense that maybe I have cracked the inner circle of Antonio's.

My boss is out here now and he has been trying to set up some dinners, he invited me out to dinner either tonigh, tomorrow night, or both; I'm not sure I chose tomorrow night based the rest of the company on the invite. As I got back to the hotel my boss was in the lobby with a bunch of Taiwanese guys from my company and he asked if I was just out walking around or what? I said I just went to dinner at Antonio's and he lamented, "Why didn't you invite me?" I said I thought he had some big dinner planned and he revealed that he got stood up. One of the other Taiwanese guys practically had his eyes pop out of his head and said, "You can get in to Antonio's!?!?"

At this point I felt like the King of Town.Since it's only good to have one rule in life I broke the rule of being full of shit and totally exagerrated my cred at Antonio's and told him if he ever needed a table at Antonio's to let me know. Not sure I can really do anything about it, but for me, Antonio's is on my list of homes away from home.

Choose Toscana

I'll often be out and something quite mundane will occur and I'll make a comment to the unlucky soul sitting across from me to the effect of, "Wow, that would make good blog material". In Taiwan that may involve a guy on a scooter with a Chihuahua, live chicken, rice cooker, and a 20' extension ladder bungie corded to his back.

I am working in Europe right now which sort of shifts the scale, but I had dinner out tonight and three potential blog posts unravelled before my eyes and I've decided to just roll them into one long post, arguably only connected by chronology.

Blog fragment #1: Don't be a cocksucker

There is a restaurant nearby the hotel called, Antonio's, a very good Italian restaurant, the likes of which I have yet to find in Taipei. One of the secrets to Antonio's is he employs about a 50% Italian staff which includes my bartender for tonight, Allesandro. Allesandro started out as a hyper-talkative bartender which for me, being from Connecticut, is naturally tough to deal with but by the end of the evening, "Alle" and I were paisans.

Alle quickly asked me where I was from, which for the first time, became a complicated question. Identity is a strange thing (see blog fragment #2) and saying I was an American but I live in Taiwan brought about an onslaught of questions from Alle. Alle knows that the tunnel from the NE coast (somewhat near Fulong Beach) back in to Taipei is the 3rd longest tunnel in the world so I was not in a position to bullshit Alle about Taiwan and he asked a million and one questions. I was somewhat embarassed that he, perhaps knew more about Taiwan than I did, but that's something you learn to deal with being a travelling American. He grew slightly uncomfortable talking about himself and work but said that he wants to stabilize himself and then figure out "what he wants to do with his life". In bartender simplicity, he noted, "The important thing in life is not to be a cocksucker." Aside from any homophobic implications, I think he hit the nail on the head. I took it as similar to saying, "Don't be a jerk off" has nothing to do with masturbation.

Blog fragment #2: Identity crisis

So it seems now when people ask, "Where are you from?", it becomes a complicated question for me. Alle was much more interested in life in Taiwan vs. life in the U.S. I haven't watched American TV since life in Neihu back in May. I "live" in Taiwan, work partially in the Netherlands, still own a house in the U.S., and in some way, don't feel 100% at home in any of those places. I recently attended a series of orientation events involving Shirley's school and found it to be uncomfortably..."western", unlike my work environment. It's not like I'm ready to pull the trigger on changing my name to Bruce but I sort of feel like a stranger in a strange land. Everywhere.

Such must be the case for Alle. He seemed to be quite friendly with the Dutch patrons at the bar, even though he is from the Italian Alps. At one point a male customer came in and some old man rolled out of the back room (watching soccer games on a laptop so I was told) to give the guy the triple kiss on the cheek so it really is an Italian sort of place. I envy the ability to pull off the triple kiss, even just with a woman, not to mention a mention, a man. I had flashbacks of childhood life where on XMAS eve it was a real family fest. There was a sense of neighborhood where when people asked you where you were "from", it meant what part of town which also indicated your ethnic heritage. Now it's effectively like, "So which Starbucks do you go to?" Times have changed. One tough thing with Taiwan is you are ALWAYS on the outside, wei guo wren.

Blog fragment #3: Choosing sides

Choosing sides is an important lesson in life.  Only douchebags fail to pick sides. You can't root for the Yankees AND the Red Sox. One great thing about sports, regardless of where you live, regardless of what Seinfeld says, it is critical to pick sides. Teach them young. I asked Alle for a "red wine". He said, "I have a house wine, or I have a Toscana, it costs a little bit more." This is an opportunity to choose sides, you have to pick the Toscana. We spent the good part of 2 hours talking about everything from tunnels to women (ubiquitous bartender topic) to sports betting. Every once in a while, in between the chaos, Alle would duck in to the back room to check the football score on a laptop to see how his 26:1 parlay was working out. One could make a case that sports betting is for douchebags but I wasn't going there, not tonight. I had picked my side.

So these guys sit down at the end of the bar and Alle gives them the house vs. Toscana pitch and the guys insist on the house wine (bad idea) and Alle says, "C'mon man, I need to eat" to which one guy says, "You eat just fine." And at this point I could tell this would end badly. Of course, when it comes to wisdom, bartenders are a step behind Master Yoda and Alle was no exception as he retorts, "You must be German" and you could see these guys faces sink into their house wine. Then Alle looks at me and I started laughing, being one to pick sides and knowing who's side to pick. I thought it was genuinely funny that I was presented the same decision point but realized that there really was no "choice". As Henry Rollins would say, "your choice is fish".

Alle tried to make light of the whole thing but as they were walking to their table, head douchebag said, "nice tan". Living in Taiwan has made me more sensitive to race issues, though I don't think Italian is a "race". It is common in Taiwan to try and be as white as possible. I know in India, men advertise their daughters for "sale" in context of how fair skin they are. I had a Taiwanese guy send me a resume last week in which he indicated his blood type, as the Japanese identified the "feisty" Taiwanese by blood type during occupation and some companies still follow this biggoted practice.

So if identity crisis isn't enough of a problem we now have to worry about exactly how white white people are? I tend to think Germans get a bad rap because of things that happened 70 years ago and then this knucklehead at the bar enforces a "told you so" mentality.

In my fantasy world where people ask me what it is like to be a blogger I confess that blogging involves maintaining a personality that is an exaggerated form of yourself. One where I take real situations and embellish them with wit and sarcasm such as to make it entertaining to the reader but not a total abomination of the truth. I had such a post evolving at Antonio's tonight that then recoiled into a sense of true reality. I watched the line cook put out a plate of salmon and thought a good blog punchline would involve, "Only a douchebag orders the salmon at Antonio's" but the true wisdom in this post is: don't be a racist douchebag when a bartender who is slightly less white than you jokes about you not taking his suggestion, because in the end, he is faking like he's watching football in the back room when he is really stirring your Rumple Minze with his schwanz.

The name game

Even before coming to Taiwan, I found it fascinated to meet a Chinese guy named "Wesley". Suspecting that, of course, his name wasn't really Wesley, I'd just figure that maybe he's a big Mr. Belvedere fan. But even the biggest fan wouldn't name himself after that little douchebag Wesley.

I've come across my fair share of slightly strange names in the past few months. By that, I don't mean Steven, Frank, Jason, Sharon. I mean names like Lester & Simon, stuff that's not really odd, but a little bit outside of the mainstream. I wonder how they come to pick their "Western" names. At first I thought, maybe it sounds a lot like their name in Chinese, but that's not the case, I checked the database, no resemblance, not even close.

I had a Ghanese friend who's name was "Harrison". When I asked about the origin, I had hoped to hear that his family had some link to someone in the UK with the surname, "Harrison" but my greatest fear was true: as a kid he watched Raiders of the Lost Ark and was instantly smitten by the hat and whip and decided he wanted to be known as Harrison. I met someone last week who had a coworker named "Maverick". I bet Maverick was 5 years older than Harrison. Nevertheless, Maverick is a pretty cool name. I really want to meet this guy; I wonder how much like his Top Gun namesake he actually is. I think I know the answer to that.

I've started to amass this inventory of stupid jokes that I tell to the Taiwanese to gauge whether or not they "get" my stupid sense of humor. We had the pleasure last week of meeting up with one of Shirley's former high school students from the States who is visiting her home  in Taiwan. We were out with her and her brother and I thought I'd put my witty personality to the test. I guess under certain circumstances, Westerners here sometimes choose a Chinese name much like Maverick chose his Western name.

I explained that if given the chance, I would pick a name that means a lot to the Chinese people. I would name myself after the most famous Chinese hero, someone powerful and loved by the people, someone who personified Chinese culture and delivered it to the rest of the world. A name that would instantly bring me honor. My Chinese name will be "Bruce". Their puzzled response was, "But Bruce Lee's real name is Jun-Fan."

Tough crowd.

Possessed by your possessions

Our "stuff" from home was delivered on August 1.

I left for Taiwan on May 1 and during that time, lived with the following key possessions:

• 4 T-shirts
• 5 combos of khaki pants/oxford shirts
• Useless heart rate monitor watch (forgot the necessary chest strap)
• Useless digital camera (forgot the proprietary cable)
• Laptop
• Atlanta Braves baseball hat (nobody wears baseball caps here unless it's a mesh trucker hat that says "GROPER" on it)
• Deodorant
• GPS

Since arriving, I had acquired two key things:

• 2005 Suzuki Swift
• Ikea Malm bed, 1 sheet, 1 quilt, 2 pillows

As Shirley was still living in the States for a while we decided that we'd wait until June to pack everything up. The shipping company loaded up a 20' cargo container of belongings from our house and sent it on its way with an estimated 6 week delivery time. For several weeks I lived in the new apartment with really nothing other than a bed and toiletries. Then the morning of August 1 came.

My experience is Taiwanese are never on-time, unless, they have a task to do, after which they are free to go, in which case they will be obnoxiously early, which, I guess, qualifies as NOT on-time. It was no surprise that well before 9AM the phone rang and it was the delivery crew. David, the boss, introduced himself and we maintained a serialized list of all the stuff that was packed. The agreement was that they would bring all the boxes into the apartment, unbox whatever we wanted, stick it somewhere, and remove the packing materials. Our apartment quickly went from empty and stark to this huge mess.

We didn't even send half our stuff. Some was given away, some sold, and the rest donated to charity, which is probably not at all a charitable act as I could just imagine what they'll have to do with some of that junk. Some critical items which I have so uncovered in the rubble:

• Belgian waffle maker
• raclette maker
• George Foreman BBQ grill
• poker chips
• 5 picnic/beach chairs
• plates, bowls, mugs, etc. service for 37
• enough female garments to clothe Detroit
• boxes and boxes of tampons (most scarce item in all of Taiwan)

We're stuck in a chicken/egg situation, we need to clean but have no room to clean. We also have only one closet in our apartment; most places in Taiwan have a freestanding wardrobe unlike the closet-in-every-room approach in the U.S. Having struggled with only 4 t-shirts for several months in the Taiwan summer, I was eager to resolve the clothing situation so we set out to Ikea to get those wardrobes with all the fancy storage drawers in them. Our marriage survived the assembly process and this got us over the hump to make some space.

We stayed focused on only purchasing only things which enhance storage space so we went to Piin this weekend and took advantage of a Father's Day sale. Father's Day in Taiwan is 8-8 because of the phonetics of 8-8 being "baa-baa" in Mandarin like "pa-pa". Oh, my company gave all the guys free movie tickets for Father's Day, haven't used them yet. Piin is like the Pottery Barn of Taiwan but with an Asian slant. We've quickly grown to love the place and ordered up a bookshelf, desk, entertainment center and coffee table, all with storage compartments. Pit stopped at Ikea to get a utility shelf for the balcony. I built it up in the living room and then realized that I had to take it apart to get it on to the balcony. Oops.

We've made a lot of progress this week, but it still looks like the place was ransacked. At least the bedroom is squared away. Also a key item we bought just before leaving the States is a Roomba. We only have it patrolling the bedroom for now but so far, it's awesome. The rest of the apartment is way too filthy. I would expect to come home to find a pile of melted plastic and some gears and springs scattered about.

Shirley has been talking about doing some clothing shopping now that we have some storage space. Considering that the guest bedroom is piled high with clothing,  I'm looking for a Goodwill box that says "Detroit or Bust" on the side. With that said, the other day I blurted out, "Since we have a gas stove, I want to get a wok". Shirley said, if we get a wok, something else has to go. I think that's a good policy, like a Conservation Law of Crap.

Preparing for the big one

Taiwan is no stranger to natural disasters with its proximity to the Ring of Fire and the typhoon season in the summer. Right before I left the US there was a massive mudslide across highway 3 that killed some motorists. People at work told me I was absolutely crazy for going to Taiwan. I put this photo up in my cubicle with arrow pointing to my fictitious "new apartment" on one side and fictitious, "Taiwan office" pointed out on the other. They got a big kick out of that.

We are apparently in the middle of typhoon season now which lasts through September, maybe into October, but no sign of a storm yet. I'm kinda hoping for one as we have this monstrous pile of boxes that need to be unpacked at the apartments and being holed up for 48 hours might be the only fix for that.

I've always wanted to be in an earthquake, but not the kind where the building collapses on top of you. The other kind, where the place just shakes and your colleagues have a panic stricken look on their faces and you cackle hysterically like you are insane. This is typically how I react in extreme turbulence on an airplane. I think it makes uneasy wimps freak out even more. I've always wanted to strap on my backpack and put my ski goggles and helmet on like I'm about to skydive out of the plane but post-9-11 I'd probably get jailed and/or put on the no-fly list for standing up while the fasten seat belt sign is illuminated.

They must have started construction outside my office building because every once in a while I hear a rumble and I think, "maybe this is finally going to be an earthquake!" To alleviate my confusion I installed this Android app called Earthquake! onto my phone. Whenever there is a quake, the phone rumbles and tells me where, when and magnitude. When I hear the rumble outside, and the phone rumbles, I know this is the real McCoy. I was actually in a pretty sizable earthquake at the Ambassador Hotel in Hsinchu in 2009 but didn't even feel it because the hotel must be so well built. Now I only stay in really crappy hotels so I don't miss out on the excitement, but I do miss the amazing breakfast in the atrium.

A (not so) well thought out plan day #2

Here's a better looks at the weapons of mass destruction our security crew has chosen to unleash on the suds monster. Next to the broom and dustpan is a carpet. I have no idea what the carpet is for but I'm not good at solving murder mysteries, either. Shirley, on the other hand, will watch a CSI episode, see a woman fall off a balcony in the first 30 seconds and yell out, "She was hypnotized!" and be absolutely correct (and ruin the rest of the episode for me).

Maybe the Hannibal Lechter security guard had a dead body in it and the suds involved flushing all the blood down the drain and the dustpan is to dispose of the dismembered parts. As you can see, not much of the suds has evaporated since yesterday. At this rate it will take quite some time. I think this snail could clean up the suds faster than those security guards. We saw this snail on our way home a couple nights ago; it's pretty massive, well, for a snail, which is kinda like saying "jumbo shrimp", huh?

I thought there would be no way a snail could be that far from water but Shirley corrected me that there is some sort of massive land snail. She probably saw it on a Murder She Wrote episode. If only the snail was massive enough to use that dustpan to clean up the suds...

A (not so) well thought out plan

We have 3 security guards in our building that work in shifts. They monitor the front door, handle mail and packages, and check people in/out of the fitness center, which involves handing you a safety cord to be used on the treadmill. The safety cord is tied in a not to make it even shorter making it so if your concentration lapses the slightest bit you will shut off the treadmill mid-run and go crashing off the front end of the treadmill.

One guard in particular is kind of wacky; he's always laughing demoniacally. One day he insisted Shirley and I follow him down the street so that he could show us where a breakfast place (sesame bread & soy milk) was. That was quite nice but afterwards he insisted that he show us his apartment which was right next door to our building. The inside of his apartment was about the size of our bathroom and it looked like Hannibal Lechter was the previous resident. I thought for sure he was about to chloroform us, tie us up, and kill us slowly. Instead he showed us his pirated collection of James Bond VCDs and sent us home with a stack. This was all while he was supposed to be watching the front door.

I came home from work today to find him and the evening guard in the parking basement with quite a predicament on their hands. Much of the floor was flooded with suds. There is no laundry room in our building so I could not figure out where the source of the suds was but it looked like they had a plan:

You can barely make out in the center of this photo that there is a broom and a dustpan. I don't know what they thought they would accomplish with a broom and dustpan. Talk about bringing a knife to a gunfight.

Coffee at the Cat-fe

I had noticed a place called Cafe Dogs and Cats several times when entering/exiting the Zhishan MRT station as it is right on the west side. I never thought anything of it until I read an article about the "Cat-fe" culture in Taipei whereby you eat/drink in a restaurant populated with cats. I even heard of places where you rent a cat as your table companion.

So one day I decided to walk by just to see if this was, perhaps, such a place. There is a menu outside, translated into English, and a sign saying there is a ~150NT pp minimum and a 100NT fee if you just want to come in to look. The windows are blocked out but through the seams I peeked in and, sure enough, loose cats inside.

Shirley and I were looking for a place to grab a coffee after dinner tonight and decided to swing by. We went at 9PM and there was only one other couple in there. I asked if they were closed and the apparent owner said they were open until 11 (pm) but only for drinks. I think there are mostly pasta dishes on the food menu but many choices of hot/cold coffee and tea related drinks including siphon coffee, my new favorite.

There were about 10 cats running loose in the place, 1 dog, and a mynah bird. Well, the bird was in a cage. I was once tricked by a talkative mynah into getting my hand too close to the cage and in the blink of an eye, the bird leaped forward and bit me on the webbing between my thumb and index finger. Man, that hurt for quite some time. The cats were all fancy-type cats that obviously required a lot of brushing. Tucker is a pain to maintain I couldn't imagine having 10 long haired cats to care for.

There is a roster on the table with a snapshot of each cat, its year of birth, and its name in Chinese, I think. One was translated as "Gucci", not sure why they didn't come up with English equivalents for the others like my colleagues at work: "Wesley", "Lester" and bunch of other slightly uncommon Anglo names. I had a Ghanese friend who picked the name "Harrison" after seeing Raiders of the Lost Ark as a child. I wonder if I'll ever get to take on a Chinese name. If so, I think I will choose to be named after a famous Chinese star: "Bruce".

Although the cats were somewhat aloof, they were not at all skittish. They sell cat treats and I bet that's the key to getting the cats to join you for a catpuccino (ha!) because I crinkled my sugar packet and 10 heads turned really quickly to see what I had. I approached an petted a few most didn't back away, but it's not like they were jumping on my lap.

My blue mountain coffee was quite good as was Shirley's coconut iced coffee, priced at 150/170 NT respectively, the ambiance is somewhat factored in. If you're thinking, "Geez! Where is the health department!?!? How could you possibly have a bunch of cats running around a food establishment?!?!", you probably don't live in Taiwan. Cat piss smells like a bouquet of roses compared to stinky tofu and any danger from cats being around food is nothing compared to the time I was walking down the street and someone in a makeshift parade through a belt of big firecrackers (already lit) between my legs.

If you are a cat person definitely check it out or just go for the novelty. Warning, there is no Claritin on the menu so bring your own.

(yes, that cat is real)

Test driving the dirty "socialist" health care system

I've had this small lump in my armpit for about 10 years and never had it looked at, at least not by someone with any medical credentials. I do notice that it changes size based on deoderant use, in some way shape or form. After doing some internet research years ago, I try and stay away from aluminum based deoderants. There was a product called "Crystal" that seemed to keep the lump at bay, but it did little for sweat relief.

When I first arrived in Taiwan, I thought the lump had gotten smaller, for whatever reason. Then last week it got bigger, and bigger, and then started to hurt. I hadn't really given much thought about medical care in Taiwan. I do have a National Health Insurance ID card. And I know my company has a 3rd party group insurance plan. I don't have that ID card yet, maybe I should check on that...

But I never thought about where I need to go when I have a very painful golf ball sized lump in my armpit. So I harnessed the power of Shirley's helpful HR group and came up with Dr. Kao in Tien Mu near Mitsukoshi. No appointment necessary, he's in the office Mon-Wed-Fri. I cleared my schedule in the afternoon and headed up there. It's a hundred meters or so up Lane 69 and is clearly marked on the outside; I thought for sure I'd have to walk down an alley and through a butcher shop and then give the secret knock before heading up a spiral staircase... But not the case. Maybe I'm getting too jaded about certain Taiwanese things.

The receptionist was very friends and spoke English well. She handed me a form to fill out and asked if I had a National Health Insurance card. The form was quite simple, where do you live and are you allergic to anything. I sat down and called Shirley to let her know that I was going to see the doctor and before she could even pick up the phone, Dr, Kao opened his door and called me in.

He also spoke English well and must have lived in the States for some time. You can typically  tell by the idioms that people use whether they ever lived in the U.S. I explained the situation and his eyes lit up like a kid in a candy store when I got to the part, "I have this lump in my armpit" and he was chomping at the bit to have a look. As I was slipping my arm out of my shirt he quipped, "At least we know it's not breast cancer!"

Check. No breast cancer.

Upon seeing it his diagnosis was instantaneous and I was relieved that he wasn't going to try and squeeze or poke it. He said it was an abscess caused by a bacterial infection and a cyst in my armpit. The heavy sweating in the middle of the Taiwan summer caused things to get worse as the sweat glands are blocked and next thing you know, I'm smuggling a Titleist under my arm. The plan is to treat the bacterial infection with antibiotics and leave the cyst be. We did talk about the potential of surgery to get the cyst out if the problem comes back which I honestly, wouldn't mind doing, to be rid of it once and for all.

They were able to prescribe me an oral and topical antibiotic right in the office, no trip to a pharmacy necessary. He said it would take about 3 days to see an effect. I can't wait for day 3 because on day 2, this thing is quite painful. At least it's growth appears to have been stunted. The cost of the office visit was $6 USD and the 2 prescriptions was $2, total. The cost of the NHI plan to me is about $16/month, I suspect my employer contributes a chunk, too. I spent a total 20 minutes in the office, as a walk-in.

I can only speculate that the biggest problem in the United States is the legal system. Some things in Taiwan are cheaper than in the U.S. but it is not off by an order of magnitude. I can't imagine this health care system working in the United States. Part of the magic of the Taiwan system is supposed to be the efficiencey of processing. My NHI card has a chip in it with all the necessary data and there is little to no paperwork on the part of the doctor office. They just scan the card and computers do the rest. But with all of the efficiencey in the world, think of the burden in the U.S. from the civil legal system. Can national health care become a reality without tort reform?

My visit to Dr. Kao did not unlock all of the philosophical mysteries of a national health care system nor equip me to render expert opinion on the entire scope of Taiwan's health care system, but I can at least say one thing with confidence:

"It's not a tumor!"

July Randomness

I often see something while out on the street and say, "That would make great blog material!" But it never works its way into any meaningful storyline so it ends up just a photo on my phone's memory card. So I think I will publish a monthly-ish photo album of the stuff that gets lost, but is still significant to defininig Taiwan. So here it goes:

This was at the aboriginal village amusement park near Sun Moon Lake and has to be the largest crane game I have ever seen. If they only filled the holding tank with misbehaved children, it would be a fun game to play.

This is a hot dog stand in Shi-Da. Of significance is that they consider the Chicago dog to be the staple of hot dogs which is a bit outside the mainstream even in the States. Much respect.

Shirley visiting Tucker in quarrantine. She goes 3 times per week. Fortunately, he only has another week left.

On the way to quarrantine you can pass through NTU campus and they have a small wetland sanctuary with this strange looking bird that hangs out quite close to the balcony. This old Taiwanese lady thought it would be entertaining to try and hit him with her umbrella. I wanted to throw her in but there were no crocodiles so it would be pointless. 

Here is the Taipei Truth Church. I only had to travel 10k miles to find THE church that is about truth. Phew!

This is a bratwurst and sausage shop that uses a Dachshund silhouette in their logo. Art imitating life?

An entire bakery dedicated to Hello Kitty.

Banana flavored beer. Sounds gross, actually tasted pretty good, if you like bananas. They have some other wacky fruit flavors. Will report back...

This is the end of our block. This guy keeps chickens and lets them roam free during the day. Luckily we are on the 8th floor so we don't hear the rooster in the morning.

This is the next street over. Another chicken farmer.

"Rabbit Rabbit" in Da-An is a popular western style brunch place. Some people take things too far as they were passing around a rabbit mask and taking photos of each other.

In a crowded shopping district there lies a pig pen. Not sure if this was a pet or tonight's dinner.

This was in front of an otherwise normal clothing store. The mascot's shirt says "Looking 4 Poonanie". There is an overabundance of inappropriate slogans on T-shirts and such here. One young girl working behind the counter at a breakfast shop with her father had on a shirt that said "Barely Legal". I wonder if they have any clue what half this stuff means?

There were these large sculptures in front of a corporate building. You can barely make out Shirley in the left armpit.

I have been asked to post more street food related stuff. This place has two offerings. On the left, you grab a basket and some tongs and choose from meats, vegetables and dry noodles. They weigh your basket and then cook it all up into a custom soup for you. On the right, they make a flavored pancake and then wrap it up with egg, bacon, cjheese, ham, kimchi, etc. Quite tasty!

Last but not least, "Essential Beer" from Korea. Couldn't have said it better myself.